
Early into our marriage, my husband and I built a cute house, in a cuute neighborhood, in a cuuute suburb of Houston ... we loved our house, but I just never felt comfortable up there. It was all a little too ... clean ... in every way, it was scrubbed clean. In the pre-dawn hours, small armies of dark green golf carts would swarm the area. Their drivers rid the streets of any and all litter before the sun could rise and shine down upon it. It freaked me out. It was kind of exhausting being accosted by all of that perfection, all of the time. I couldn't shake the feeling that I so did not belong in this place.
Then one balmy Christmas eve, a glimmer of hope arrived right in my own little neighborhood. Right at my own front door in fact. It was a sign that perhaps ... just perhaps, there were others like me in this perfectly clean place. My husband and I were returning home from a night out. We rounded the corner into our neighborhood, and I immediately noticed that something was amiss.
Someone had taken every single lighted reindeer, in every single yard ... and had moved them into *ahem* compromising positions *ahem* . I fell asleep with a smile on my face, wondering if the dark green golf carts would be able to fix the situation before the sun came up.
PS : Another time, husband went out to retrieve the morning paper. He came back in with a strange look on his face. Someone had moved everything from our porch, and put it onto our driveway. They didn't steal anything. They didn't deface anything. They just moved all of the chairs, plant stands, tables, etc ... and carefully placed them in exactly the same configuration in the middle of our driveway. We still crack up about that one. I miss those guys.